For You

play at full volume, and while you do that, im off to get the bastaard!

fuckers!

You Were Outside Shivering but I Tossed You a Blanket from My Window

Seventh Séance- The Incision
And Also The Trees- Out of The Moving Life of Circles
Felt- Fortune
Revolving Paint Dream- In The Afternoon
---(offline)---

I am really not as dreary as the music I really enjoy sounds. There is something very comforting in songs that sound very hollow and/or bleak. Well to me there is. A comforting shiver...

By the time you get to the end of AATT's self titled debut album you already feel satisfied but this is the clincher and remains one of my favorites. Everything about this song makes me want to sit out in the middle of nowhere at nightime under a moon and stare off into space. I used to stare out windows listening to this and thinking about how I was certainly the only one lost in that moment with this song and if I shot a radar out there I would be able to prove it. I just felt significant in my appreciation of how this song moved me...and then it starts to move you through memories of chapters in a book, watching it like a soap opera, but not in that vein.

I am remiss that I do not have Durutti Column's The Missing Boy loaded in this, for that, and Fortune were complimentary songs if ever there were, by 2 different artists, on two different labels, yet at similar times. This song kills me everytime, but Im warped so that is a good thing. Its simply put a great song, one of those songs that can either be the one you listen to while you are miserable, fetile on your bed, crying...or perhaps, like me, you are sitting in your office in New York City in the Flatiron Building, mid June, drinking some Earl Gray Tea, eating a scone, with a warm breeze coming through your wooden window pane at 9 10 in the morning and watching the windows on the other side of 5th avenue wondering how others are starting their day. It just seems like the way to ease into your day...a prelude of hours to roll along...

Sitting in the corner of your room staring at a diagonal to the door and feeling sorry about something...or were you roaming around the park at night listening to a song about the afternoon...but it has nothing to do with the afternoon because its about the moment past...the moment past and now sour. I can't say that I had this song accessible to me during those bad times, but it does seem to say a few things that one could very well cling to when refusing the truth...My fondness for this is simply the layering and the simplicity of the drum machine...just a ticking with an abrasive slap sounding every now and then like a smack a face. Its so cold but its just about the most perfect thing...sorrow, despair, and abstract swirling about you...Revolving Paint Dream, such a brilliant name.

Which brings us to the first song, at the end of this entry...I like it as a precursor to these tracks...The parallel of the beat and the bassline to the others makes it fit nicely. But of course its the synths that sucker me in...those "Im walking along a street and thinking of you and have made my way to the lake we used to walk to, and as I look into the water I am reminded of your face...the last time I saw your face" synths....you know the kind. I think of this as the sad girl at the prom in the 50s if coldwave existed then...it has that feeling...if Peggy Sue was a goth. Not to cheapen it, but the melodramatics of the vocals can be a bit much at times, however the bucket sound of the drums combined with the bass makes you conjure the tears falling of the darling one...

"im in pain, so much pain, why wont they help me..."

I have regressed into sympathy and sorrow, but these songs do not make me feel sad, they are pleasant in their stillness and to me that is how much of this music is...little vignets of treasures in tunes. Music is very cinematic to me and that is why it means what it does because I am heavily visual and dare I say it, emotional...
(if you are interested in these files, please email me)

Meloncholy Swoons

My first introduction to this song was through the video on the Lonely is An Eyesore compilation, and that is why I am placing it in video format.

The first time I heard it I was eager to hear the lyrics until I realized half way through there were most likely no lyrics. It made me feel slightly dreamy in a restful on the bed on a sunshine day staring out your window way...counting the squares within that one section of the screen you had become fixated on. I remember a friend being very engrossed with this song and going on a very huge thirst for it...to finally be quenched many many years later.

At this point this song is nostalgia for me...its of a time when I was still very wide eyes about the notions of romance and post school years and everything I lived for was collegiate or the complete antithesis. This antithesis was going to clubs as many nights as I could to spend time with a large group of friends that I loved dearly. It was being the me I had always wanted to be when I was younger and in high school craving the union of folks into what i was into...but never having them.

I sit here and listen to it and it makes me think of smoke filterred bedrooms with fans sucking out the smoke as we glare at the television in a low lit bedroom watching this video on an ash stained carpet being completely entranced by the myriad of 4ad videos and always getting to the end of this one and letting out a sigh. So good!

Each time I hear it I am apt to listen to it at least twice.

Sure its not the most obscure track out there, and for Dif Juz this is the one most know, because of the comp. but it has special meaning to me and I am transported everytime I hear it, to another period of my life, at which so much of that seems dead, or at least very suitably stowed away in a chest for only me to reflect upon later on.

A keepsake.

Somewhere

Dark Day- Laughing Up Your Sleeve
The Modern Art- Diversion
SigloXX- In The Garden
Néva- Valse
Trisomie 21- Il Se Noie
---(offline)---

THE FIRST INSTALLMENT
Elsewhere
Im reminded of those visuals found within the beginnings of shows such as Dr Who, something spiraling going towards something else. It should have been perhaps the far better version of an episode of Buck Rogers....something that visually seduces you into that perfect world of the perplexed...the sounds that make you furrow your brow while staring up into space or an evening sky and feeling mystical but utterly lost and confused in the best way possible.

A sense of alienation from everything else around you...

Perhaps there is no one else around and you are watching everyone else like those early 80 late 70s post psychedelia late night movies where the people have no eyes or people are lost in abandoned warehouses filled with statues and awkward metal objects that look like they are from bomb shelters.

Is that a keyboard player I see in the distance?

Perhaps it is you in this shelter like place of abandoned days...There is sadness and little faith that you can leave and all is existing around you in a slightly purgatorious state...through stained windows of yellow and gray...its your new place of existence. A little world of oddity...

Remnants of yesteryear.

Thoughts of something delicate and lovely but tragically distraught and wanted for the wrong thing...you lie down on the floor and close your eyes from this sullen warehouse place and drift off into a nicer place in daydreams...but your thoughts too dark your visions are of night time in these nicer places...the things around you are cold and stale, but very alive with every sense, so much so you could smell your thoughts...

Oh the sense of being lost in the head of confusion and the spectacle of forced alientation from the reality around you. Neither within the true reality or outside the abnormal...

a continual stroll outside in evening hours that finds you back where you started but still many miles away inside...

[these thoughts are not to always make sense...i simply write as i listen...fragments moreso]

(player omitted 05/29/07)

How Strange When It Seems So Normal

Good Afternoon.
Here is an attempt at something very precious to me...music. Oh yes, another one of them, for Blogger does not have its overly insane amount of blogs created by musical enthusiasts. I am prepared to offer something different, and even if there are but 4 people who pay me any attention then there is hope that there are 4 people out there who care in the manner in which I do.

I know a great deal about music. I know a bunch of really obscure bands. I can talk my fair share about information, details, side projects, cross reference producers and guitarist relevance, and Im just starting to expand my knowledge into machines, guilty! Are you going to hear this type of dialogue on this blog? NO!

I don't care anymore. I care solely about why I am listening to what I do. Enough banter about information, there are multitudes of sites of music dorks like myself spewing details about these bands, so why jump on a long winded train of others? There are folks out there more knowledgeable than myself so why act as if I am the new all-knowing? Im not. But I do thank those of you who do spread the knowledge, because I do think for those not in the know, it is a great service to share the wealth!!

I am doing this because I have drifted away from creative writing, and once upon a time I used to sit in my bedroom as a young teenager and compose music video scripts of the songs I loved. I would roam around aimlessly with my headset and compose visions and scenes in my head based upon what I was listening to. I loose myself in what I listen to that I feel as if I am walking around in a video, however simple or stoic it is, I am transcended, always. Here I am at 30 still falling into those moments with my headset, and still relishing the visions created by music rather than those of reality.

There is a desire to do this, and the best reason is because I want to, and one should never put off doing something they wish to do. There is but one conscious moment in this life to do, so never deny yourself. So here I am. On the threshold to sharing my pretencious, honest, humble, moments based upon my musical escapes and daydreams...

Perhaps you have felt the same way too?