Is It Just The Idea I Like or Is It For Real?

I pull a moderate sized bedsheet out of a bag and place it on the grass. The weather outside is fair, with a bit of a chill but the sun seems to be somewhere in the lurking of weather's knowledge. Its grey but not a depressing gray, a slight overcast, that white-ish tone. Some close friends are gathered with me and we are of a slightly sarcastic lot, but total lovers of life and all the things that we can grasp out of life's hand. I feel like quoting literature in a completely pompous manner, but instead I smile to myself that Im having these absurd thoughts to make myself seem far more intelligent than I am. My friends would pick up on it and most indefinitely laugh.

Time to pour some tea and share in some other quips and perhaps some cheese or fruit, although Im really up for some junk food...Perhaps a pastry with some gooey sugar icing upon it.

Have I been holding this dialogue all to myself so far. Always me sitting there amongst others with a long narrative going, creating this situation that doesn't entirely exist but could, if it was a slightly different universe. If my thoughts were always actualized, then everything would seem to be in a permanent state of absurd meets decadent meets mondane meets hallucinatory.

However it doesn't change that in realizing Im still sitting there talking to myself in my head, its time to realize that others are about me and I should open my mouth and say something. I know I will open it and not be able to shut it. But it would be rude to not say anything, and its simply not my style.

We all engage in some wonderfully ridiculous dialogue about things in our lives and continue to eat in this somewhat Camus-"come"-Fellini-esque picnic. Smiles are abound and smirks of a clever word and phrase uttered here and there.

Its a nice day. Even if the sun isn't completely out. There is a nice breeze rolling in from the shores a sligh distance away. I am feeling quite relaxed in the admiration I have for those I am in conjunction with and how its a really great thing to be a complete internal blabbering fool and not a single one of my friends seems to mind.

Its also of great comfort because when I export those blubberings to the air, it is always met with a pleased smile for my personality. I am fortunate this day to have those near and dear to me sitting and exchanging words with one another. Even though when I look around me there is but a beige wall, a pillow, some mild plum colored sateen curtains hanging in front of me, and the blinds behind me are of a dour sheer fabric of "blah"....I still feel this world continuing as if you weren't so far away from me.

Its just like when I stared at the beige walls with heavy beige curtains hanging, amongst antiques and photographs of my yesteryears...I still felt them all there, with me...being visible faces...

The faces that change. The people that interchange. Some stay constant. I remain as always....thinking of that which is near and dear to me, even when its out of close reach. The picnic invitations are soon to be.....

Just find me a nice bluff...



LINK : {Would It Be Too Much To Cry?}